First Love

Marketing campaigns stretch through millennia,
banishing us into personal mazes,
God playing hide and seek in the closet,
concealing himself in a heap of nonexistence.

A jester acts out a lifetime of pain.
An eyeball floats in a sea of brown piss.
Titans with eyes gouged piss into clouds.
Dreams of raw meat fade in white rooms.

North, south, east, west: why am I
still searching for you, patterns found
when the world is inverted, nautical distance
measured in lives, distant accidents

headed our way, gods,
shaped like hunting and huts,
winter of water, spring of water,
summer of leaves, autumn of leaves?

Diving for you in the gurgling toilet, lungs
desiccated in bathroom mirrors, lifetimes
thrown away into pictures,
bathed, circumcised, unshriven.